


a lifetime

by onlyyou



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Future Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-10-12 00:05:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20554925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlyyou/pseuds/onlyyou
Summary: Everybody seems to have gone on with their lives. Except for Jessica.ORIn Crestmont, Jessica and Justin understand that old habits are good too.





	a lifetime

Eight years is literally a lifetime. Jessica Davis understands it when she comes home to Crestmont, from her trip in Europe, and realises that her "little" brothers both go to high school now.

And that's scary. 

Everyone in Crestmont seems to have go on with their lives. 

Tony and Caleb live somewhere in Nevada, but they still manage to come back sometimes. And they also have adopted a cute little girl, Maya. 

When Jess thinks about it, her friends having a baby, she feels a bit behind. She doesn't have babies, or a boyfriend. And clearly, she doesn't know what to do exactly with her life. 

Because, yeah, she still thinks that studying journalism in college was a shitty idea. 

Moving back to her friends, Alex started dating Sheri. Jessica was surprised when he told her, at the phone, almost two months ago.  
But it wasn't weird, knowing that her ex-boyfriend move on. It felt strange, of course, but than that feeling was replaced with happiness and a bit of nostalgia. 

Nostalgia of old times. 

But Alex has always been more like a friend to her, anyway. She remembers talking to him was always so easy and natural. She remembers that she didn't have to lie in front of him. 

Now she does, almost all of the time. 

Chloe and Zach, they were a bit of a mess, but they still managed to stay together after Chloe had to move to San Diego for a 6 months internship. But they are okay, that's what Chloe tells her almost every week at the phone. And then she politely ask if she's okay too, in Spain or whatever country she is in, and Jessica doesn't know what to answer. 

"Yeah, all good here, C" she lies. 

Because Jessica it's nothing like her friends. She is alone, drinking a Cosmopolitan in Madrid, thinking that, yes, she a mess. 

But it's okay, it has to be. 

"Good. Call soon, Jess"

And Jessica doesn't calls too often. She prefers to stay away from that place, because everybody seems to be so fucking happy there. And she is till a mess.

Ryan owns a library, but he still writes in his free time. And Courtney lives in Japan with Elizabeth, her wife, and their son Max. 

Tyler is studying photography, and he sees a counsellor every once in a while and he's been doing quite okay. 

And then Clay, who is getting married in less than 24 hours and his damn wedding it's the reason why Jessica came back. Her fiancée is Ivy, they met two years ago in New York. Since then, they've been together. 

She is supposed to give her speech tomorrow, at the wedding. It should be a good thing that they chose her, but all that Jessica can think about is talking about a life — Clay and Ivy's — from which she is so distant. 

Because Jessica is different from her friends. She is the one that doesn't know what to do with her life, and she has too fake about that too. 

Oh, and there's also Justin. In this years, she learnt that she could let go of him and still keep a special place for him in her heart. It's not been easy. And it took her time. 

The only time she spoke with him was two Christmas ago, when Clay phoned her and he handed the phone over to Justin to let him say a simple "hello" to her. 

"Hi, Jess, Happy Christmas"

"Yeah, Justin. You too"

So, eight years it's a lifetime. Eight years ago Jessica was still a confused teenager. She has been one of the reasons why Hannah killed herself. She hooked up with Justin and lied to Alex about that. Because, as Clay kept saying, "they couldn't get enough of each other". She was the one Bryce Walker raped. 

She remembers that feeling. How she felt dirty and scared for too long. How all she saw in the mirror was her body broken. Broken forever. She turned every time in the hallway, too see if someone was looking at her. She felt that way for a long time, sometimes even now. She remembers Justin looking at her, with his sad eyes and a lot of unspoken thoughts. And almost didn't bare his eyes constantly on her, constantly checking if she was okay. 

"You look beautiful" he said, at the Spring Fling dance. 

They were alone, everybody was still dancing and they didn't have any idea where they were. It still felt wrong, though. But she also felt good, for a moment. 

"I'm sorry" he added. 

And Jessica smiled a bit, their figures almost in the dark. 

So Jessica knows, now, that you can't change what happened to you. But it doesn't mean it is not painful. 

She goes home, that little place that she goes to whenever she is in Crestmont. She eats dinner, alone, all by herself, and before going to bed she checks another time her speech. Because "she can't fail at this one too". 

———

Today is the day. Jessica is nervous, she doesn't deny it when she looks at the mirror for the last time. Today she will see all her friends, and for some reasons she feels like it's the worst thing in the world. 

Ryan offered to pick her up, and she agreed. He broke up with his boyfriend two weeks ago, and he said that she could be his non-lover date. 

She smiled at this sentence. 

When she meets him, she realises he hasn't change that much. She doesn't know if it's a good thing. 

They talk about their lives, "I went to Europe, to find— to find some inspiration" she doesn't look at him. 

"Wow, Jess. Cool"

And then he starts to talk about his little bookstore in Los Angeles. "I get why you went away, Crestmont is not exactly the place where someone should live in"

"Yeah" 

And that was true. A lot of shit happened there. And she wants to say it, because she knows that he thinks so too, but "We are here!" he says. 

———

The location — but also the ceremony — is in true Clay-style. Jessica notices that every detail is perfect and she is sure that Ivy didn't take care of it. 

She tries to avoid some familiar eyes, and she smiles at other.  
And then the ceremony starts. 

Ivy is the perfect bride, and Clay looks at her like she is going to lift the world up with a finger. Besides him, there is Justin. And Jessica really didn't wanna to notice. 

In the first seats there are Clay's parents, Matt and Lainie, and they look so proud of both of their boys. Ryan is still by her side, looking at his phone from time to time.

When it's time for her to give her speech, in front of too many people, all the eyes are on her, as she walks to get to the altar. 

"I know Clay since first grade, we met at Math class and, I admit it, he helped me with my homework. Me and Clay, during our ..."

———

After the "I do's" and the long — too long — kiss, Jessica quickly goes to the bathroom. 

She meets Chloe, and then Courtney. Unlike Ryan, they very changed: Courtney has long hair now, and she is way more tall; and Chloe still has that nice smile but she seems more confident. 

And then, "Jessica, hey, come here". She realises it's Clay's mom only when she turns. 

"How are you, darling?" she smiles at her. "Long time no seen". 

She laughs nervously, "Yeah, I guess. So good to see you"

Matt interrupts the two of them, "Wait, hang on a minute. I'm calling Clay and Justin. I bet they would love to see you"

The Jensen brothers are talking not too far from their parents and Jessica. Justin looks immediately at her, and he shows her a little smile.  
She replies. 

"Hey, Jess!" Clay says enthusiastic, hugging her. 

And Jessica thinks that he'll never change. 

"Good to see you, Clay. And congrats too" she smiles. 

"Well, thanks, I bet Ivy would love to see you too"

"Yeah, I'd totally love to see her"

Then, Jessica realises that lifetime is really a long time what she meets Justin's eyes. She gives him a distant hug, while his parents’ eyes are on them. 

"Lovely to s-see you, Jess" he says, blushing a bit. 

"Yeah, I mean— of course. It is very good" 

Clay clears his throat, and Jessica almost wants to thank him for it. "Did you come here with someone?"

"Actually, no" she laughs a bit "My plus-one got wasted, I guess"

"Justin's too" he jokes, and Justin seems to enjoy it. 

She gets out of that situation with a "I'm so, so sorry. But I promised Tony I would go meet little Maya so, well, I have to go"

They both say goodbye to her and then she walks away. She doesn't know how she feels about seeing him again, being so close to him. What the fuck happened to the "I can love you and let you go" thing. 

Jessica could let go of him, right? But for some stupid and unknown reasons, it didn't feel that way. It felt different. It felt like she couldn't, not really. 

———

Eight years is still a lifetime, she thinks, while she watches Courtney play with Maya and Max. She is smoking a cigarette — a shitty one, to be honest. She picked up smoking in Paris, everyone does it there, and Jessica thinks it can be relaxing sometimes. 

She did drug for a period, in high school, and she would regularly get drunk at parties. But she never smoked a cigarette. She thought it was boring. 

"Can't believe Maya is almost two" 

Jessica turns to that familiar voice, to find Justin figure by her side. 

Okay, it was really a lifetime. 

Jessica doesn't say anything, she just nods and keeps looking in front of her, finishing the rest of her cigarette. 

"I mean, it's incredible how our lives changed"

"Yeah, I mean. Mine is still the same, after all. I don't have babies and I'm not getting married" 

They both laughs. 

"Neither do I" he adds. "How was Europe, by the way?"

"Cool. You know, I was just trying find my path" she explains, turning back to him. "But it's kinda difficult"

"Everyone finds his path. Sooner or later"

Jessica knew Justin was right. God, he was so right. 

"Let's just hope it's not too late"

"It never is" he answers. 

Their eyes meet, and it's that feeling all over again. It's a good sensation, this time. Like she can actually accept that time has passed, they have change, but you can't relay stop feeling what you feeling. 

Justin smiles. 

"Why are you smiling? Do I look fun?" 

Justin shakes his head. "You look beautiful. I mean, the dress and everything: you really are a beautiful"  
he pauses. "I'm sorry"

"When are you actually gonna stop apologising to me after you tell me I'm beautiful?" she laughs a bit. 

He said the same thing in high school, at that dance. 

"Well, I guess I ran out of words"

"To do what?"

"To describe you"

Yeah, you can never stop feeling what you feeling. It's true: you can't just sit somewhere and impose yourself not to feel a certain way. 

But even if they wanted, they couldn't stop feeling that way for each other.  
And it's something you can't explain with word, and not that Justin was a very talkative person. 

"When did we stop?" he asks, "When did we being us?"

"I guess there hasn't been a precise time" she inhales for the last time from her cigarette. "It's just what happens, sometimes"

Justin turns to look at her, and maybe he can still see the 17-year-old Jessica. But he's not sure if he wants too. Okay, yeah, he totally wants to but he still doesn't know that. 

Then Jessica walks away, giving him a small smile before. Justin looks at her and tries to convince himself that it's just better this way. Maybe. 

———

Two weeks after, Clay does this high school reunion at his parent's. Because "our place it's still a mess"

The end up playing monopoly in the living room, like old times. Well, the normal old times. And Jessica doesn't know if there have been a lot of them during high school. 

They were simply troubled kid, and they grew up in the wrong place. But that's what made them them. 

They eat pizza in Clay and Justin's old room. Jessica learns that even Justin moved out, he lives in a little apartment close to Clay and Ivy's. 

She learns that Chloe is a veterinarian, and that Ryan doesn't want to think about boys right now. That Sheri and Alex will move in together next month.  
That Zach teaches basketball at Liberty High with Justin, and Jessica says congrats to him when she hears that. 

It difficult to see how their live have gone on, because the truth is that Jessica and Justin are not the troubled teenagers anymore. They grew up, they have a different life. 

Nothing ever stays the same.  
And eight years is a lifetime.

But is a good feeling, now, sitting on a chair and watching her friend chatting or playing with their kids. She feels good. They changed, she changed. And that's still fine. 

Justin takes a seat close to her. She doesn't mind. 

"I guess I didn't want to accept the fact that I changed" she admits. 

"What?"

"I mean, I didn't want to change, because I thought that it was scary"

Justin nods. "Growing up is scary". "But look at them, they are the people we grew up with" he adds. 

"Hannah too" Jessica never mentions her, it still hurts. 

"Yeah, Hannah too" 

"Do you ever think about her? I mean, how it used to be?" 

"Sometimes" he answers. "If she was alive a lot of things would be different"

"You two would be together" she jokes. 

"No way. She would be with Zach" he says. "Or Clay"

"Our lives would be different" Jessica says. 

"Is it a bad thing?" 

"I have no idea" she admits, and Justin can totally agree. 

And then, in a blink of an eyes, he kisses her. Like it was the most normal thing in world, without even thinking about that. And Jessica, this time, can't says that she doesn't want it. 

"Oh, I—I'm sorry, I—"

"Oh, shut up" she protests, and she kisses him again. 

She drags him inside, Justin can't stop smiling. His hands are all over her, on their way to the bedroom, still kissing each other.

Are they really doing this? Jessica decides that she doesn't mind, she really doesn't. Not tonight. Justin too. 

That night, even Justin realises that it's not a bad thing that they grew up.  
But that old habits are good too. 

———

They see each other. To hook up, to eat something together (but they still do it after), or even to talk.  
And Jessica doesn't care if they shouldn't be together because they were supposed to have moved on. They clearly didn't. 

Justin, in the other hand, tells Clay about that. 

"Man, come on, Jess?" his brother says. But he can't say he is surprised. 

Justin nods. "Yeah, I mean, it happened and you know". 

"I know", Clay almost laughs. "So you just see each other to do it or you—"

"Who is seeing who?" their mother asked. 

Lainie Jensen walked into the living of her house, where her two sons where chatting. Ivy was in New York for the weekend, so she thought it would have been a great idea to invite the boys over. 

"Did I interrupt you two?"

Justin and Clay looked at each other, "Justin and Jessica are seeing each other again" Clay replies. 

And Justin thinks that he wants to kill his brother right now. But his mom seems happy so, maybe, he can still let him live for a few years. 

"Okay, okay. I leave you two to your conversation" 

Justin hides his face in his hands.  
Taking about the fact that he is still hooking up with his high school crush and he can't get enough of it with his mom, it's not what he planned for that day. 

"Thanks, Clay"

"No problem at all. Now, do tell me, how exactly do you wanna handle your little rendezvous?"

———

Life goes on, sometimes it's easier and sometimes it's not. Jessica still lives in Crestmont, for some weird reasons she decided to stay. And she also decided that she wants to keep the some kind of distances from Justin. 

Like, nothing to serious. They hook up and that's all. And she doesn't define their relationship, even if she knows that it goes under the name of "friends with benefits".  
They both like it. Nobody complains. So, it's fine. 

In high school she never thought she could have sex but not being in a relationship with him at the same time. But then again, eight years is a life time. She has changed. They have changed. 

And Jessica has always liked what she couldn't have. She did. And this time was no exception.

They managed to keep it that way for a long, long time. Too long if you ask Clay, who is convinced that those two have to get together sooner or later.  
His predictions are confirmed one day, three months after his wedding, when Justin calls him. 

It's started one hour before. Jessica Davis picked up the phone and called him, she was nervous and didn't know what to say. 

"I could be pregnant"

Justin was sure he didn't hear what she said. "Y-You are?"

"I said I could, I might be pregnant"

That was one of the scariest feeling, for Jessica. Not knowing if it was true, and not knowing what Justin wanted to do. 

"Okay. So what do we do?"

"I-I don't know, Justin" he could feel she was about to cry. 

"No, I'm sorry I didn't mean—" he apologises, "Do you want me to come over?" 

"No, there is no need"

He knew Jessica needed her time just like he need his. 

So Clay predictions were confirmed, but this time he was surprised. I mean, his brother was having a baby: Jessica was pregnant. 

"She said she might be, she doesn't know" Justin explains over the phone.

"Right. What do you think you'll do?"

"I wanna be there, for her. If she really is pregnant, I don't wanna be like Seth" Clay knows how Justin wanted to prove that he was better than his biological father. The truth was that everybody already knew. 

"I know, man. Just call me if you have any news"

Justin did call him, three days after, when with tears ready to fall down his cheeks, he said to his brother that he was going to be a father. 

Clay cries, but Clay cries every time so that doesn't really count. Alex almost passes out, when Jessica tells him and Chloe literally freaks out. And, of course, Matt and Elaine are the happiest people in the entire planet. 

She realises another time that eight years is a lifetime. 

They bought a little house in Crestmont. Jessica thinks that one year ago she would have hated the idea of coming back there. Now, she is happy to. 

——— 

Lifetime has a new meaning for Jessica: Violet Elaine Davis-Jensen is born July 6, 2027 and she is most amazing creature Jessica and Justin have ever laid their eyes on. 

Everybody cries, especially Elaine when she hears the full name that they gave her. And Clay promises he'll spoil her until she'll be 30. Matt is more than exited that his first grandchild is a girl, because "we have too many boys in this family". 

Justin seems not to be able to let go of her, pulling her closer to his chest every time she cries. Jessica observes them, in her hospital room, and she almost can't believe how much love Justin shows for her. 

And it was just the beginning. The begging of a new lifetime.

**Author's Note:**

> sooo this is my first fic! please let me know what you think. and also, English is not my first language, I apologise if I made some grammar mistakes.
> 
> if you have any suggestion for another fic, feel free to write it in the comments.


End file.
